Dr. Rodney Plunket

The Old Testament book of Proverbs is a collection of writings concerning wisdom.  The individual units that make up this book were likely collected and put together over a long period of time by people recognized as the wise men and women of Israel.

In this collection there is much said about women.  Since some of the material in Proverbs is especially designed for young men, there are some sections which warn against loose women, the kind of women who would draw the unwise into sexual sin.  For example, in Proverbs (Prv) 7:4-5 we read, “Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend, that they may keep you from the loose woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.”  This chapter then goes on to refer to a young man who is seduced as “a young man without sense.”  So the book of Proverbs realizes that there is a type of woman who can bring about destruction.  However, the sin is blamed on both the woman and the man, and wisdom in this passage is actually viewed as a woman as well––a highly prized woman, and the passage calls upon the young man to view wisdom as “my sister.”

But there are other somewhat negative observations concerning women in the book of Proverbs.  For example, Prv 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without good sense.”  This proverbial saying draws attention to the fact that beauty is not always accompanied by good judgment, discretion, discernment.  Two proverbs relate to the problems associated with living with a wife who creates strife or contention.  Proverbs 21:9 says, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious wife;” while Prv 21:19 says, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and fretful wife.”

The reason I wanted briefly to note these negative references to women is because they provide a backdrop that helps us to appreciate the extremely positive statements in the book of Proverbs about women and wives.  If a book only says positive things about a given subject, we can begin to think that it is biased or naïve.  Such is not the case with the book of Proverbs.  It has some glowingly positive comments to make about women, but it also reports some negatives.

Now let’s turn to the more positive comments that the book of Proverbs makes about women, wives, mothers.  Let’s begin with Prv 12:4 which sees both positive and negative potential in having a wife.  It says, “A good wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones;” and Prv 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

But the highest praise of a wife is found in Prv 31:10-31.  It not only praises a wife, it also provides a model for the excellent wife and mother.  Please listen to this passage as I read it from the New Living Translation.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is worth more than precious rubies.  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She will not hinder him but help him all her life.

She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.  She is like a merchant’s ship; she brings her food from afar.  She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.  She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.  She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night.  Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.

She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.

She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes.  She quilts her own bedspreads.  She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth.

Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders.

She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions.  She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her:  “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.  Reward her for all she has done.  Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Most of us have read this passage before, but I wonder how many of us have realized how radical this model/this paradigm is.

One element of its radicalness is demonstrated by the fact that this section serves as the conclusion of the book or Proverbs.  The ending of a book is very important; it often provides a summary of the book as a whole.  It seems to many Old Testament scholars that such is the case here.  I think that the picture of the noble woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is designed to encapsulate the message of all the preceding material, and the message of all the preceding material is focused upon wisdom.

When the wise teachers who put all of this material together wanted to create a living, breathing portrait of wisdom they did so by describing an excellent woman/a noble wife and mother.  Raymond C. Van Leeuwen has written the section in the New Interpreter’s Bible on the book of Proverbs, a volume released in 1997.  He is discussing chapter thirty-one verses ten through thirty-one when he writes, “Wisdom is here embodied in a noble woman.  And so the symbolism of wife as wisdom, which runs through Proverbs, is brought full circle . . .”  (5:257).  This noble wife and mother of Proverbs 31 powerfully represents wisdom, biblical wisdom, the kind of wisdom that the whole of Proverbs seeks to create.

We think of the ancient world as one that was very man-centered.  We think of the ancient world as one in which women had little influence and even less power.  And that is a fairly accurate picture.  We know that women in this period of time were often little more than property.  We know that in many cultures they ranked just slightly ahead of slaves.

That is one of the things that makes this passage so radical.  The writers and collectors and editors of this material were inspired of God to present a picture of woman that could hardly be more noble.  I can think of no biblical picture of man as man or of man as husband and father that is as noble as is this picture of woman as wife, mother, and the living paradigm of godly wisdom.

Throughout the book of Proverbs wisdom is personified as a woman.  But the Hebrew word for wisdom is hΩaœk≈§ma®, and it is a feminine noun.  So it could be argued that the reason wisdom is personified as woman, wife, mother is simply because the relevant noun is feminine in gender; it is an accident of language.  It seems to me that such is unlikely because Proverbs 31:10-31 pushes the connection beyond metaphor and into concrete reality.  The wise persons of Israel felt that the wife and mother of noble character was a sterling example to all who want to be wise.  Such a high view of wife and mother is not universal even today.  In the ancient world I think it was radical.

I turn again to Van Leeuwen who notes, “The ancient literature in praise of women is consistently erotic in focus, . . .” (New Interpreter’s Bible, 5:263).  Proverbs 31 is far different as anyone can readily see.

But that is not all that makes this picture so radical.  Notice how active and productive this wife and mother is.  She works prodigiously.  She buys and sells.  At least in part because of her efforts, her husband is a well-respected member of their community and she and her family are well clothed.  She speaks with wisdom; she is both strong and dignified.  And the excellent wife and mother is not necessarily beautiful; certainly the text is not at all interested in that attribute except to say in verse 30, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  In a man-centered world, the ancient col­lectors of godly wisdom chose a hard-working and highly productive woman who was as effective outside the home as in; they chose her to be the model for what wisdom looks like in the real world.

I want to challenge all of our mothers on this Mother’s Day.  I want you to realize that you can be a model of biblical wisdom.  I want you to know that the Bible presents your roles as those that best convey what biblical wisdom looks like.  But that glorious potential will only be realized when you set high standards for yourself and work toward those standards with eager energy and clear focus.  That glorious potential will only be realized when fear of the Lord is the attitude that defines your goals, informs your vision, and provides your calling.

I have said it before, but it bears repeating.  The phrase “the fear of the Lord” in the Bible refers to that inner attitude which causes a person to be obedient to the will of God.  Wives, mothers take home with you the words of Proverbs 31:30 where we read, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Be praiseworthy women.  Be praiseworthy wives.  Be praiseworthy mothers.  May your families rise up and call you blessed because you “fear the Lord.”  May you serve as a shining example of wisdom alive among us.

An article in the October 4, 1999 issue of U.S.News & World Report was entitled “Like Mother, Like Daughter.”  I want to read to you the first two paragraphs of that article (p 18):

Anita Wallace was boasting.  About how much she loves getting high, how much she loves stealing.  She can’t remember how many times she has been busted, she says.  There have been so many.  But her bravado vanishes as fast as a hit of the heroin she loves so much.  Holding her pencil-thin arms close to her sides, she listens as her daughter, Starr, tells how her mother made so many promises––then broke every single one.  “Everybody else had their mom,” says Starr, 18.  “I know what it’s like not to have my mom for a significant part of my life.  I didn’t know who to turn to, so I turned to myself.”

From age 11, after he mother disappeared on a drug binge or got thrown in jail, Starr got the job of caring for her sister and younger brothers.  She rebelled.  Before too long, the good girl, as she called herself, went bad.  She started drinking, stopped going to school.  She went out with gang members.  She robbed a guy delivering pizzas.  Much as she despised her mother’s lifestyle, Starr was following headlong in her foot­steps.  And like her mom, in the end, she was locked up, too.

Mothers, this negative portrait reveals the enormous influence you have on your children.  In the case just noted, the influence is destructive.  It does not have to be that way.  But I assure you; a mother will always have influence.  What she does and does not do will affect profoundly the lives of her children.  That is why I call upon our mothers to live lives of obedience to the living God, to live lives that are shaped by the Holy Spirit of God.

Robbi Crumpler recently emailed an article to me.  It is an article written by William Willimon.  Dr. Willimon is minister to the university and professor of the practice of Christian ministry at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina.  The article is interesting for many reason, but one reason is that it sounds like it was written yesterday but it was published in May of 1979.  Willimon’s article is his reflection on some research on parenting.  Those findings led to the conclusion that many children were suffering significant psychological problems because their parents were “valueless, unattached, self-centered parents who are unwilling to give the time or the emotional commitment that parenting requires.”  Later in the article Willimon cites a researcher named Julius Segal:

After talking with dozens of children during the past few years, Segal claims to have heard a common plea:  Give us a sense of being wanted and cherished, a sense of uniqueness, and you will have given us that which only parents can give, but that without which we cannot survive.  What hurts most is your lack of guidance and your absence of conviction in leading us to discover our special contribution to the future.

Willimon’s article suggests that mothers have become so afraid of becoming the overprotective and overbearing mothers that are much vilified in our culture that they are leaving their children without proper instruction, love, and guidance.  I think he is right, and his sentiments are possibly more correct today than they were back in 1979.  Christian mothers (and fathers, by the way) should actively shape their children according to the Word of God.  Discipline, teach, love, protect, guide, and shape your children.  Live out the wisdom of God before them.

Mothers, God saw fit to portray true wisdom as the best that a wife and mother could be.  Take hold of that picture; take hold of biblical wisdom.  Open yourself up to the Spirit of God and use the power of the Spirit to become an excellent wife and mother whose children will stand up and bless and whose husband will praise.  On this mother’s day renew your commitment to be an excellent mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.  May God be glorified by the way you love your family.

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